The Official Blog Of Alicia Goranson
I've learned that riding the D.C. metro during the morning rush is a hoot. Also, not all of my fellow commuters indulge in the luxury of unexpressed thought, or soap, apparently.
Outside the pub, up pulled a carriage and out stepped the bard himself....he strode quickly inside, and was ushered into a back room. There, he took his seat, amongst a gathering of rather extraordinary attendees:Albert CamusArthur RimbaudRene DescartesErnest HemingwayRalph Waldo EmersonSocratesEuripidesPlatoFriedrich Wilhelm NietszcheVirgilDante AlighieriMachiavelliand too many others to name......"Okay! Okay! Everybody listen up! Hold it down over there, Hemingway....not to worry, Ralph, he'll finish later, it's just another 'fish story'. Please...c'mon guys, take a seat, thank you...thanks! Alright, excellent...I must say, I'm glad everyone was able to make it. This meeting is called to order....Does everyone know the rest of the attendees?? If not, just introduce yourself to your neighbor or check out the name tags...DML: "Okay, first order of business, I need some advice"Nietszche raises hand...DML: "Yavol, Friedrich, what is it?"Nietszche: "Yu vant adwice, just vat kind uv adwice, mite yu be looking vor?"DML: "Well, I'm not quite sure, you see there's this lady....Much grumbling, chatter and sighs of exasperation from the assembly.....Descartes gestures..DML: "Yes, Rene, what is it?"Descartes: "Mon ami, are we to understand you 'ave called us all 'ere for a mere 'affaire d'amour'?"DML: "No, no, I wouldn't call it that. I haven't actually met the young lady. Although, I feel I know a little bit about her...She's warm, intelligent, lot's of classShe's witty, charming with a little sassShe's talented, lovely has a real nice.....Well, you get the picture!"Descartes: "Leesen to yourself my friend, I do beleeve you 'ave fallen "in like" weeth thees "chere amie"DML: "Do ya think?"Descartes: "Not, do "I" theenk, do 'You' theenk! Eef you theenk you are, then....."softly interrupting at first, then more loudly...DML: "I think....I think, I am...Therefore I am....I think!"Descartes: "Prezisely, I cood not 'ave poot eet better myself!"Looking rather astonished at this revelation, the trickle of perspiration, upon his brow, did start...DML: "Machiavelli, Virgil, you gentlemen want to please sit back down, there's plenty of pizza for everybody...Dante, do me a favor? Leave the the thermostat alone, it's a damned 'Inferno' in here....There ya go, Machiavelli, thanks for turning it down, you're a 'Prince'"Shakespeare, waving madly to be recognized....DML: "Yes, Bill, have you something for me?"Shakespeare: "What hath this lady, that intrigues thee so?"DML: "If you didn't hear my description to Rene, then stay after class and check the notes...Let's just say she's my 'Beau Ideal'"Shakespeare: "Might thee reserve thy French, for them that speaketh it! Understanding thy English is trial enough!"DML: "You should talk! Fair enough, though...sorry...'Beau Ideal'....Ideal of Perfection...does that make it any easier?"Shakespeare: "Quite so. Yet, thy haven't even met the wench?"DML: "Whoa, whoa, slow down Willie! Watcheth thy mouth fella! This 'babe' is no wench!! I might have used the term myself in talking with her, but just for fun and writing purposes...This one is 'over the top'...'as good as it gets'...'the bees knees'...'A number 1'....cutting him off midthought...Shakespeare: "Alright, alright, be thy silent, already! The portrait, I do get. Have thee tried, with thy words, to woo?"DML: "Shakey! Baby! I've thrown poems, prose, rhyming verse, a sonnet and more....she's focused in another direction...in the dumps, over unreturned affection."Shakespseare: "Rather hopeless, that doth, make THY plight!"DML: "Well said, William. However, that, I knew ab ovo! My main concern here cannot be romantic, I would have a better chance to win the Lottery...She's in a state....We've all been there...I'm hoping to help her through it! A connection, I did feel, when first, I encountered her. A promise, I did make! My word is my bond....Hey, Bill...you're from Stratford upon Avon', you might know her. I think she might have played the 'Globe'....She's an actor, once known as "Lady Rebecca of Lanford"....isn't Lanford just up the road from Stratford?"Shakespeare: "Met her, I have not! If she be half as pleasant as thou sayest, look forward to the meet, I do."Nietszche: "Zees Fraulein, she eez 'Ubervuman', za vay you paint zees peekture!"DML: "I certainly think so!My problem, wherein lies, that, I can't seem to find the right words to comfort her. I think I've put together good thoughts, yet, when I lay them on paper, she interprets them differently than I intended and gets upset with me. Truly, I want so much to help, not hurt."Emerson: "Young man, if your heart is pure and this lovely creature is as intelligent as you perceive....then have no fears. Her emotions may get the best of her in the short of it....The long run will prove, she knows you care. Remember always 'The only reward of virtue is virtue, the only way to have a friend, is to be one."DML: "Thank you, sir, that's exquisite! You see, gang! That's what I'm looking for...since MY words don't seem to be sufficient, I'm hoping all of you can contribute to my effort. There are times, I feel, I'm not capable of breaking through the ice that holds her prisoner.Camus: "My dear friend, carry on, as you were. I realized early on that you are similar to me, 'In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me, lay an invincible summer'. The ice shall melt, of this I'm sure."DML: "Ah, yes! You flatter me with such comparisons. Gentlemen, forgive me for burdening you with my travails. Alas, if any of you have any other ideas, kindly pass them on to me, at your leisure."Euripedes: "It is a bold and good thing you have done in the choosing."DML: "I hope you're right. It would have been easy to quit. That's just not me. I knew there was a danger, my words might sting."Euripedes: "My good man, a coward turns away, but a brave man's choice is danger!"DML: "Good, you make me feel!Now, good, shall I make her feel!Alright, so be it, thanks be to all, for your wisdom and kind words. If there's anything I can do in return. Be not afraid to ask."The fellowes began to rise and mingle, old friends reaquainting, new ones aligning, when the oldest, began clearing his throat loudly....DML: "I'm sorry! Socrates, you have something to add? Let these be the Final words!"Socrates: "I owe a cock to asclepius, will you remember to pay my debt?"DML: "What the hell does that mean?"Shakespeare: "I knoweth not, but for my own part, it was Greek to me!"So, it was!If it doth please M'Lady, with the help of this league of extraordinary gentlemen, we shall endeavor to see you thru to Spring!So, it is written! So, it shall be done!
Try the New York subway, James, allegedly. It's a hoot and they holler; and everybody's reading a different bible.
Thank you for your comment, DML. Perhaps, in a quiet moment, you might ask yourself, and your famous cohorts, why you think I'm so unhappy, how you think you might change this and why.
I love a good hootin' & hollerin' and the fact that it happens in a crowded, bible-thumping subway only sweetens the deal. Looks like I found my next vacation destination.
Perhaps, in a time warp, I have been!Alright, you! Where's Alicia??What have you done with her??Why, might I think thee, unhappy?In general, I would not!So many good things have been laid upon thy table.As for the particular area addressed over the past few weeks....Accept, did I, 'thy word' as fact!Were thee not troubled??Why is it, I thought, I could help?Knowest not, if I can!Fate brought me to thy door.Thou asked nothing of me, this I know.Yet, so refreshing, has it been, this tete-a-tete in which we have ventured.Hoped, had I, to delight thee by providing an occassional grin.Perchance, captivate thee into cachinnation.Have my words been flirtatious?....of course, they were!Am I smitten with thee?....of course, I was!Do I think anything could come of this?....of course, I do not!Though Mittyesque are my dreams, reality is my bedfellow!For, as established, I am serf, thou art Royal.This I knew, even before discovery, of thy true standing!Alicia, thou art the epitome of all I find desirable....If the Lord were to commission the sculpture of my ideal woman...Grab hammer and chisel, wouldst I, then BEG THEE, to sit for me!Yet, beauty is ultimately defined by the soul and character of she who holds title.Remiss, would I be, had not I stopped to engage thee.Though, I wish not, to encumber......'twas the antithesis, my goal!Why wouldst I want to help?Why the H@#$, would I not!My nature, required I attend.As for my famous collaborator's......many ways, have I endeavored to distract and entertain......since my own efforts, proved folly......solicit an ensemble, didst I!I have not, THY mastery of discourse!Wouldst thee not even recognize the passion of my deeds?From my cockles, have I laboured......thy contentment, the only reward sought!Hast naught I proffered, pleased M'Lady?My service, didst I pledge!Destrier under saddle......myself under mail!Never, thought I, the girding, wouldst be, to fend against THY lunge!Thy last was dismissive, piercing!Thy blade is keen, most sure!Yet, thy thrust was false......'twas my shoulder, felt it's sting.Unless, that be, thy mark intended?Might thy be preparing me for the 'coup de grace', like the bull to the picador?Or, perchance, dost thy not consider me formidable?A 'mistrake', I assure thee!What I lack in grace, is countered with fortitude and resiliency.May thou consider, to sheath thy foil?Retire thy angst?Over pints, let us meet!Our elbows to rub......thoughts to mingle.....toungues entwine!
Too! many! exclamation! points! make! thee! nervous! But, I use "apparently" like I am getting paid for it, so who am I to cast the first stone?!
Bold art thou, Serf, and thy proposal! Such boldness is common to your sex: Men can be lions with savage appetites that o'erpower their more refined natures, blinding them to the consciousness beyond the zebra's warm blood and beating heart. Tis a harsh lesson: one's wonts manifesting in foolhearted activity; care I not to engage in such fantastic notions of intimacy. If "nothing could come of this" why proposition me with thy tongue? Only thou knowest whether or not thou art formidable. Tis not my place to judge thy potential, just as thy tongue cannot remedy my troubles.
Most assuredly, that didn't present the way I intended....Meant I, 'to talk with each other', like speaking in toungues....I can see, how thee took it the way thy did!Humble apologies..My only defense, would be, that thy interpretation is converse to what I had just written a couple paragraphs earlier....and in all these weeks of writings, NEVER, have I proceeded in that direction. Thou gives me no quarter, yet, many times, have I asked, forgive my lack of eloquence! Many times have I asked, seek my true intention!As for sharing pints, you are 1000 miles away, and it was just part of the flow of thought....as was thy offer to give me 'cool water and bread' if I were stocked....Yet, why do thee ignore all else I write, and search for any flaw to exploit?Why dost thee read passage after passage, yet comment only on something my amateur's hand doth juggle? Not once, have I attacked thee, whether it be spelling, content, presumed intention etc....Nor, would I group thee, with all others of thy fair sex, quite the contrary, much credit have I assigned thee for 'thy unique persona'Rather than revel in whatever positivity, I so eagerly, send thy way...thou chooseth to ignore all these things...to seek negative, negative, negative...this combative nature toward me is unwarranted and revealing!As for boldness, most shy, am I, when it comes to romantic liaisons.As Nietszche suggested, the 5 stages, child, Lion, Man, child, Uberman........the stage of Lion is one, where thought is usually absent. Through that stage, I have passed!If thou can not sense that from my words, then, perhaps, I am wrong in my perception.
Speaking in tongues, indeed! Yes; twas Freudian hysteria which drove my o'ersexed interpretation of "tongues entwine." Burn me in Salem for it. Thy thrice-used negative (three negatives a negative maketh) you have ascribed to my character is what's unwarranted and revealing--thy words reveal thy cracked mirror! My "lion" analogy is rooted in experience. Hast thou critiques of my grammar or content, I shall not shoot thee, Messenger. May we not agreeth to disagreeth?
Dear Alicia,Nowhere, will thee burn, as long as I have a say! Not in Salem, nor Marlboro, nor Lucky Strike. No problem, have I, with your interpretation. My intent, I did not make clear. Take blame, I do. I wish only, thou wouldst question me before thy lasheth out. I say unto thee, now and forever, if thou thinketh I wouldst ever lay siege upon thee, then peccant thou art. Again, go back, read all written, not once, have I excoriated thee. I may have foolishly written my thoughts in an unclear manner(that's my lack of aptitude, not an effort to assail thee). I may also have, attempted to impart wisdom, when it wasn't solicited. 'twas not my intention to impair... Arrive, did I, at thy threshold thru fate. Of course, thy dost not NEED me.Yet, each friend, one makes, is one less enemy to count. Having been in a similar situation, I knew how valuable it is to have someone to bounce things off of, and to have someone to slap me upside the head, when I dwell too much, on things I could not control....and for not taking control of things I could! I'm not saying this is the case with thee...just, if thy didst need someone, I would be here.As for ascribing thy character, no Alicia....ones character does that for oneself...Have I not been steadfast, in my labours to raise thy spirits?Have I not been consistent, in my efforts to help thee see, how fortunate thou art?Have I not been creative and entertaining, in my attempts to distract thee from thy worries? All this, because I find thee most unique!All this, not because I have to, because I WANT to!All this, because the only way to have a friend, is to be one!All this, because THEE are worth it!THOU must believe that in thy own heart!My cracked mirror?How, can thee say that? Count the soft words and adulation I have sent thy way. Thou wouldst need a mammoth abacus to tally them up. If thou dost read thy own words over the last couple weeks, and can truly say, there wasn't negativity, or at least resistence to my positive messages, then I'll, well I'll.....do whatever thy commands!Dost thou truly think I am like all others thy have encountered?Are there others who have written as I? Are there others who have taken thy verbal lambasts, without responding in kind?When thou talkest of a mirror...do me a small favor...read all thy words to me, then use thy exquisite acting skills and pretend it was I saying those words to thee.As for thy Lion analogy, I agree completely! Thou art correct, the Lion strikes without concern of the Zebra or the Wildebeast. In Nietszche's theory, the young man/woman who thinks only of self, is in the Lion stage...before they can rise to Manhood/Womanhood they need morph into altruism. Now, thou sayest, thy analogy is rooted in experience. I believe thee! There are many fools, about, who charge ahead, without conscience.Keep in mind, it is the Lioness who is on the hunt, the male of that species, dost sit on his duff, while Mama rippeth the zebra's throat. Read not, too far, into that! My meaning is only that, Both human genders are capable of this behavior. As stated in last entry, I have emerged from that state. Alicia, if I were acting the Lion, would I have spent more than 5 weeks 'laying the flattering unction' to thy soul?Thy grammar, NO! There can be no errors in letters such as these! No punctuation, no spelling, no errors. If the intention is pure, then no fault canst be levied. I would ask only, that you truly take 'all' I have tried to say and thought of thee, into consideration, before you assume I mean injury. For, I do not! Not ever! Though, sometimes, my poverty of words, doth offend thee! I pray, thou seest thru my verbal indigence, to the wealth of fondness I have for thee!I want not, to verbally fence with thee! Thou art classically trained, as well as phyically distracting. I do believe thou wouldst fillet me in a twinkling.Might we, as suggested, retire thy angst, sheath thy foil! As for disagreeing. My dear, what a wearisome comraderie, would we have, were we to agree on all things! There is, but one thing, on which we MUST concur. In NO WAY, NONE, ZIP, NADA wouldst I EVER mean you harm! Believeth this, in thy heart, with utmost certitude!With a little help from our friends!So you believe internally, so you shall exist externally!All change flows from within!Difficult does not mean impossible!Seperate performance from effort!Each adversity, every failure, brings with it, the seed of an equivalent or a greater benefit!"It was a great surprise to me, when I discovered that most of the ugliness I saw in others, was but a reflection of my own nature"
The Lord doth protest too much, methinks. Thou might consider joining a Christian Men's group, where thou might holdeth hands and preacheth thy altruistic, happy philosophy. I needeth not new friends or enemies. My Witches my back haveth. And Fools and Thieves are abundant. If thy words were fewer and had they more clarity, questions of their intent would prove unnecessary. If my character is obvious, highlighting its negativity--thrice-fold--is extraneous. Thy victim stance, here, servest not thy good intent.
"Thou rubs the lotion on thy skin, or else thou gets the hose again."
Well hello Clarice, allegedly.
Let's see....brief and to the point, eh?Well, I still need work on the brief, but I'll get straight to the point!Christian Men's group, NOT!!Maybe my idea of altruism is incorrect, I don't believe in that love everybody crap..."Little company, is better to me than evil company!"Handful of true friends much preferred over dozens of phony hangers on...Don't like wimps, hate suckups, detest macho egotistsI'm athletic, don't do video games....don't like prissy and can't tolerate women who won't mix it up once and awhile, sports that is, not fighting....Just like you and the witches..if they have your back, they put themselves in the line of fire, to cover your ass....and I know you would do the same for them...That's my idea of altruism...whether it's a relative, friend or lover...if you would risk your ass for theirs!The Pizza test...one piece left, do you take it?If it's the witches, you may take turns grabbing the last one...If it's your MOM or DAD, you always ask them if they want it first(don't you?)If it's a gang at a cast party, it's each man for themself....If it's the Director, you give it to him, because you're a smart cookie and he might need you for the next project...I NEVER impugned your character.I like your strength of.....I believed you were seeking the negative, yes....I think that's the result of numerous circumstances in your life...however, it's a transitory state! It will pass!I have been that way as well...If I felt your character was in question, I wouldn't have spent a month with you....I'm not feeling the victim. When I do, I'm a victim of myself....I don't put the blame on others, for my feelings."No one can make you feel bad about yourself, without your permission" Eleanor RooseveltAs for protesting, don't think I was!Sometimes I don't understand your meanings, I don't assume I know.Was just requesting, if you have a doubt of what I mean, just ask.A respectful request, NOT a protest.Oh Yeah, Happy 50th, M'Lady!!
If it's a Chicago slice, I'll take it--no matter who is at the table. We witches would cut it into three slices.My folks usually get sausage on their pizza, so I, a vegetarian, am no threat.
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