Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Hijacked by Joe Wimpster!

So last night I was out drinking with my buddies on the LES/ Greenpoint and I ran into this chick named Lecy. She said I would write about my night in my blog the next day (today) and that when I did, it would be f*@kin boring.

Your blog's f*@kin boring! Why else would I hijack it? Because I like you?

Lecy: Because you're an aspiring schmactor who's trying desperately to get noticed.

Schmactor? Wha--? Dude, I was on Law and Order!

Lecy: So was she.

Then she pointed to some random chick who, though smokin hot, was definitely not on
Law and Order.

Me: What's up with the lame, robot entry anyway? Trying to steal my fire? "Angrycommenter-bot?" That's gay.

Lecy: You're gay.

Me: You're gay.

Lecy: I wish.

Me: No you don't.

Lecy: Okay. You're just mad you got upstaged by a tin can.

Me: You should listen to all the
Roseanne watchers who google you and go to your blog to give you sh** for not being famous anymore. They're right to question your cantankerous ways.

Lecy: You're right. Someone's got to do it.

Me: Get a life, Dude. Have some fun. Lighten up!

Lecy: En-lighten up.

Me: I am enlightened! How else do I get all the hotties?

Lecy: The lasses you "get" have their idea bulbs burnt out. And they've each called a hundred supers to their little E.Vill apartments who, together, can't screw in a new one...

Me: Alright, alright! Stop speaking in tongues.

Lecy: Stop doing mouses.

Me: Stop dating rats!

Lecy: But I have so many jokes to tell them!

Me: Yeah. The homeless man with the cheeseburger in his pocket. Hysterical.

Lecy: I'd rather be a hysteric than a clone.

Me: Then you should be on
The Surreal Life!

Lecy: Life is surreal enough. Like talking to you right now reminds me of that movie
Sssssss where that guy turns into a snake at the end...Later, Gator.

Me: What?

She left (thank god). Then me and my buddies partied till dawn and met all these hot chicks. It was rockin--anything but boring! I'm the man.


Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Foolish 3


In the grotesque nature of truth;
In the grotesque truth of nature;
Guilty or innocent, we die.

And, while living, watch
the guilty and innocent
live and die.

Thus, alone
in our thoughts
we find others.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Foolish 2


Identifying with
the organization
divides the family.

Trusts and bonds
feign trusting bonds
to steer the local politic.

There is no security
in blood and money;
church and state.

Friday, May 26, 2006



In small moments
of happiness
the mind defies complexity.

The burden of worry
is less than
the awe of simple being.

"I'm alive and living"
is enough to unite
spirit and daylight.

Monday, May 22, 2006

The Calm

The sun and lush green seem new
as if, yesterday, there had been
no storm at all.

How does it seem new every time;
The storm, so readily forgotten;
Today, evenly sad and beautiful.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Fill In The Blank

I'm brainwashed in the way of ___________.

I have tendencies toward_____________.

I am corrupt because___________.

I am not corrupt because____________.

___________makes me angry.

___________makes me happy.

___________makes me human.

___________makes me "me."

Friday, May 12, 2006


And my old pal Joey.


Meet my new friend Peabody.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006


Today, while spackling holes in my brick walls, I saw an angry cat with a chainsaw.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Sunday Times Weather Headline

Late Edition

Today: Brilliant sunshine, chilly start, mild end, high 67.